Monday, February 13, 2006
It's not just always that something happens only then i start to come back to my blog..but seriously some people will not be able to understand what the hell had happen to me whenever i blog ever so mysteriously and not being able to figure what im actually sad(mostly) about..yes mostly my posts are all feeling so sad..depressed and what i seem to know what to blog is just some sad things going on in my life..whether the sad things just really happen for real or i thought about simply negative thoughts all my life..sometimes i thought about my anticipations my heartfelt contributions to things that are going to happen soon..all i could sense so deeply in my heart are just really feeling that my heart is aching..does it hint to me that its very normal that what u contribute will just only lead u to being disappointed and useless?There are certain things how u wish u can say out so so much so that u can feel a load off your heart..u know u will feel really better if u were to say out..it is all so rooted to the bottom of your heart for so long that it has even become a habit of u having to constantly facing these problems yourself and u think that only u yourself can solve the problems yourself..but yet these things are just unable to relate out to people or just that it's so ordinary and so common feelings that u are afraid that the person will be bored out and just give u a look of "come on la..u have been telling me that over and over again please..all u can talk about is just u being sad sad sad" is that the reasons u find it hard to talk?I don't think im actually saying out what im trying to drive at..cause i feel so restricted having to say things here..and i dont know how should i be facing it and how should i be reacting?What is the right way to react without hurting anyone in it and also to solve the problems and to cure my emotions right now?Happy occasions just always turn disasters in the end..i cant believe why am i able to transfer all my heartache initially to emotions written all here in my very entry now..i think i am too softhearted i blamed myself for things that happen which is partially true but yet sometimes i feel myself not getting understood at all for what i mean..maybe i take things for granted way too much..
Sorry im just writing what comes into my mind in a heated moment..its all mixed up and i dont know how i come out with this..sometimes even a complete stranger's comfort meant alot at this point..
i blogged @
6:30 AM
